07 April 2011

Writer’s Workshop Thursday: If You Really Knew Me

This week’s entry into Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop Thursdays is based on the prompt:

If you really knew me, you would know that….”

If you really knew me, you would know that I am an extremely sensitive person. When I was a little girl, I remember my mama telling me that I was very tender-hearted. So many things struck a nerve and left me in tears. I could not get through even one episode of Little House on the Prairie without feeling the sting in my eyes of oncoming tears.

Things that you perhaps mean as a joke, or just a casual statement, sometimes rip me to shreds and leave me in tears. It crushes me and sometimes makes me afraid to venture out into new friendship opportunities.

I do not have to physically endure a particular pain to feel the hurt that it causes. The sick child that you are nursing, I can feel your fear of what may lie ahead. It reaches out from your heart and grabs mine in a fierce, tight grip. I can feel the grief and it hurts that I cannot do anything to ease it, to remove it from your life.

If you really knew me, you would know that I do not want to feel this depth of emotion, yet at the same time, I do. Without it, I am not me. I do not want to live like a robot, only skimming the surface of life, never going deeper into the heart, into what truly matters.

Like the song says “It’s not living if you stand outside the fire.” Being in it means that you will, at some point, get burned. There’s no way around it. Live in the fire and risk the burns or stay safely outside and not live at all.

I would not choose to be any different than I am. I want to be the *me* that Heavenly Father created me to be, even if that means bloodshot eyes and tear-stained pillows more often than not.

What would people know about you, if they really knew you?

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  1. Very nicely written. Stopping by from Mama Kat's.

  2. When you read my entry to this linkup, you will see that I am a kindred spirit. I would not want to be made differently than I am, but it is painful to be so sensitive and empathic. *HUG* You are brave to reveal so much of yourself, thanks for sharing your heart. :)

  3. Hi Suz,

    I'm stopping by from Mama Kat's... I can totally relate to the comment about being sensitive to an innocuous comment. Do you dwell on those comments? I do. Nothing gained from it, but I sometimes can't just let it go.

    Have a lovely day!

  4. Thank you, Dawn, Jenna, and Miel, for stopping by and the nice comments about my post. I appreciate that very much!

    Jenna, I read your post and yes, we are very much alike! Hugs to you, too.

    Miel, unfortunately, yes, I do tend to dwell on the things that people say to me. The hurtful things stay around a lot longer than the happy things. I don't know why this is, and I don't want to be this way. I am not good at letting go. I am working on it.

    Thanks again for writing to me and I hope that you have a great night!

  5. Stopping in from Mamma Kat. What a wonderfully well put description of your sensitive self. Hope find balance in your life though...

  6. @Mel~ @ Lifestwistedstitches.com

    Thanks, Mel. :) I'm sorry that I didn't see your comment sooner. As for balance, I guess I'm as balanced as I'll ever be. Something always comes along to ensure that I'm knocked off kilter. At least it isn't boring. :)


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